When Your Child Dies

Very few parents expect to outlive their children. Parents have hopes and dreams for their children’s lives that the children should have the chance to fulfill. Many parents often live through their children through the child being able to do things that their parent’s couldn’t. Children keep the spirit of adventure alive in their parents.

When a parent loses a child, they often find very little, if any, support during this difficult time. Why? Most people don’t know what to say, or if they do speak it isn’t helpful. Many friends find it too difficult a situation to deal with. The death of a child also brings unbelievable strain on the parents’ relationship. Couples do well to seek professional counseling during this time.

In her book, How to Survive the Loss of a Child, Catherine Sanders says, “The death of a child is an impossible grief.” The question remains then, how to get through this “impossible” grief.

How will I get through this?

• Keep the lines of communication open. The death of a child often causes family communication to break down. It is important to keep talking.

• Express your feelings. Anger, remorse, fear, loneliness, sadness and depression are often experienced by those whose child ahs died. It is important to express your feelings.

• Recognize that you now have limitations in your role as a spouse or parent. Your own pain will be so intense at times that you will feel that you have nothing left to give the rest of the family.

• Take care of yourself physically. Proper food, rest and exercise are important so you can maintain the energy you need to cope.

• Seek spiritual support. Your faith or spirituality may grow or diminish during this time. Listen to the words and music of your faith and let them comfort you.

• Expect special days to be difficult. Many times the anticipation of a special day is worse than the day itself. Plan ahead so you are in control of the day.

• Hold on to your hope. Open yourself to others who share a similar loss. You will find meaning and joy in life again as long as you don’t lose hope.

• Recognize when you begin to heal. It takes time! Eventually days will pass you and you will think, “I’ve had a good day.” You are beginning to heal.
  
  

Carolina Hospice Care is here to help you. You can reach us at 877.849.5910

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