Grief and Bereavement

Grief is a natural response to the loss of a loved one. Talking about your loss and the adjustment issues involved can be helpful to you and others who grieve.  Because the needs of the family and caregiver continue after the death of a loved one, Carolina Hospice Care understands and continues throughout the year of bereavement with grief support.  Our staff members seek to support our families and patients during this difficult transition through counseling and support groups.

Anticipatory Grief
When we learn a loved one is dying, we are anticipating the loss that is to come and begin grieving the loss even while he or she is still alive.

What you may experience:

• Sadness: You will experience an intense sadness knowing that someone you love is dying and some of your plans will go unfulfilled.
• Frustration: One day you will be in denial. The next day you may be hopeful your loved one will beat the illness. This ambivalence can be frustrating.
• Guilt: You may have said or done things that make you feel guilty.
• Anger: You may be angry with the doctors, with the one who is dying, or with God.

Tips to help

• Keep open communication between you and the one who is dying and close friends.
• Take steps now to reduce guilt. You still have time to say the things you have always wanted to say.
• Make sure legal matters have been looked after (Legal will, power of attorney, etc.)
• Take time to care for yourself! Exercise, find a quiet place to reflect, draw on the resources of your faith or meet with friends.

Grief
Grief may be experienced in the combination of mental, emotional, physical, or social reactions. Mental or emotional reactions can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, despair, or forgetfulness. Physical reactions can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, or illness. Social reactions can include feelings about taking care of others in the family, role changes in the family, or returning to work. There is no right or wrong way to grieve after a significant loss.

5 Basic Facts about Grief:

• Grief is a process that takes a lot of time, energy and determination. You won’t “get over” your grief in a hurry.
• Grief is intensely personal. This is your experience – don’t let others tell you how to grieve.
• Grief is an assault on the entire being. It affects you physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and spiritually.
• You will be affected by this loss for the rest of your life. As time goes by, you will have new insights into what this death means to you.
• Grief has the potential for being transformative. You will change, your values may change, and you will see life from a new and different perspective.

One of the objectives of Carolina Hospice Care Bereavement program is to offer support and encouragement to bereaved people.

Bereavement
Bereavement is the period after the loss during which grief is experienced. Some view the process of bereavement as having four phases:

• Shock and numbness. Usually occurring soon after a death, this is evident when the person finds it difficult to believe the death has occurred.
• Yearning and searching. As shock and numbness recede, there remains a tendency to “forget the person has died.” Perhaps one catches a glimpse of someone who reminds you of the deceased, or you expect them to be there when you arrive home.
• Disorganization and despair. As the reality of the absence of the person who died settles in, it is common to feel depressed and find it difficult to think about the future. You may be easily distracted, or have difficulty concentrating or focusing on any one task.
• Reorganization. As a person slowly makes the adjustment to all the ways his or her life has changed as a result of the loss, a sense of renewal begins to evolve. Life is forever changed after a significant loss, but you slowly learn how the difficult aspects of life become reprioritized as you “pick up the pieces” and begin to move on. It is not that you forget about the person who died, but you have begun to learn how to live with this knowledge.
  
  

When to seek professional help:
While many of the symptoms of grief are normal, persistent symptoms need to be taken seriously. Are you:

• Always feeling exhausted, anxious, suicidal, depressed, helpless, or uncontrollably angry?
• Withdrawing from family, friends, work or school?
• Becoming dependent on drugs or alcohol?
• Having little desire to get involved in activities you once enjoyed?
  
  

Ultimately, what most people need after a significant loss is the support of caring loved ones, family and friends. Carolina Hospice Care is committed to providing compassionate care to families and friends who have lost a loved one. Even though family members and friends may provide each other with a support system, sometimes more help is needed.

When your Spouse Dies
When your Child Dies
Bereavement Resources and Support Groups

You can reach Carolina Hospice Care at 877.849.5910 for further information.

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